


“Never trust something that bleeds for seven days and doesn't die”

by zovinar



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Galra Keith (Voltron), Gen, Humor, Intersex Character, Takashi Shirogane is a good big brother but also kinda a dick, Team as Family, Xenobiology, basically the gang's all here - Freeform, i love the fite squad??, this team is so salty just throw them back in the fucking ocean, xmas coat of arms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-12-16 18:11:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11834235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zovinar/pseuds/zovinar
Summary: “You’ve been tracking time according to your cycle?”“It’s not like we have Earth-space calendars.”





	“Never trust something that bleeds for seven days and doesn't die”

**Author's Note:**

> title from Linda Kage’s [The Right to Remain Mine.](https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/18414378)
> 
> I really wanted to use “Push my buttons, and I’ll push you off a bridge” [(Karen Quan)](https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/44072611>) but as much as it fits these losers, it’s way more aggressive than the tone of what’s going on here.
> 
> set in one of those concocted fic time zones a bit out where things are still happening but with negligible external drama and minimal mortal peril.
> 
> but uh, yeah. gonna be talkin’ ‘bout periods.

 

“Shit I almost forgot.” The lounge is comfortably quiet and Keith's voice cuts through the easy atmosphere like one of his knives.

They’re cruising through the sector, sedate rather than really being on patrol for once. It’s been a while since they've used the lounge for anything other than commiserating as they ease out of a training session and everyone takes up on the opportunity to lazily drape themselves over the couches. They’re taking a breather because they've earned it dammit.

“Hey Pidge.” Keith flips one of the endless knives he’s been sharpening before leveling the hilt at her. She looks up from the schematics she’s been scribbling on and cocks her head, a screwdriver falling from where it was tucked behind her ear to thump onto the couch.

“You’re running low on tampons, right?” Keith ignores Hunk’s bewildered look, “we’re gonna be passing by the swamp-moon-mall-thing, probably can stop by if you wanna.”

Pidge blinks at Keith, squints, then stares at him with wide eyes.

“Yeah,” says Keith.

“Noooooo.” Pidge groans and buries her head in her hands, “augh, just what I need.” She throws a pillow him. “You’re such a shitty clock Keith!”

Keith takes his pillow buffeting in the face like a man. “I’m an excellent clock.” He raises a brow at her grimace. “Do you even know what month it is?”

“Wait a tick.” Hunk pinches the bridge of his nose. “Hold up.”

“You’ve been tracking time according to your cycle?” Shiro asks incredulously.

Keith leans back into the couch, crossing his arms. “It’s not like we have Earth-space calendars.”

Shiro looks more than amused. “You  _definitely_ didn’t do that before.”

“ _Desert,_ ” growls Keith.

“I’m sorry,” says Allura, “your what?”

“Uh,” Keith shifts, one shoulder coming up. “My menstrual cycle?”

Hunk gapes at him a bit. “Galra Keith has a period.”

Shiro coughs a laugh into his fist.

“So you also experience a monthly occurrence of bleeding associated with fertility?”

“Ok, look—” starts Keith, a bit miffed.

“And you can use yours to predict Number Five’s?” asks Coran curiously.

“When people who get periods live or spend a lot of time together they start to get them back to back,” cuts in Lance from the doorway, rubbing his damp hair with a towel. Keith gives him a relieved half-smile.

Pidge pushes her glasses up and shoots a grin at Lance as he leans against the doorframe. “Basically, yes.” She tilts her head towards Coran. “Generally their cycles line up after the more ‘dominant’ member of the group but—”

“I’ve got a hormone stabilizer so Pidge’s usually syncs up after mine.”

“Wait,” splutters Hunk, “ _birth control?”_

Shiro chokes on his drink. He coughs something garbled into his hand before looking up with a huff of laughter, eyes glittering with mirth. Keith lobs the balled up rag he was using for his knives and it smacks into the side of Shiro’s face, catching on an ear. The Black Paladin smiles sunnily as the rag flops to the ground and Pidge tries to restrain a bout of cackles.

Keith ignores them both out of long practiced habit. “Also works as a stabilizer. I have the,” Keith’s brow furrows, “the T one?” He waves a hand, “I forget what it’s actually called.”

“Intrauterine Device, an IUD,” says Lance as he flops down on the couch next to Hunk. “Yeah one of my sisters has one of those; she looooves it.” He winks at Keith, “barely even gets her period anymore.”  

“Lucky,” mutters Pidge.

“Whatever, I'm still more regular than you ever are.”

Pidge raises another cushion threateningly.

“I suppose I’m not that surprised to be entirely honest.” Coran smooths his mustache. “The galra are generally ovotesticular.”

Keith twitches at that last part.

“I guess?” Hunk hedges. “We haven’t really seen any galra that are clearly identifiable as different sexes.”

“Yes, though the galra usually have a mating season, so to speak, about five movements every deca-pheob rather than your continual human periods. But…” Allura frowns, “how by the Ancients did you not realize that you had extraterrestrial blood in your genetics?”

Keith crosses his arms. “Some humans are like that too,” he says dryly. “It’s called intersex, Princess.”

Coran still looks contemplative. “How were they able to accommodate your biological divergences?”

“It happens,” Shiro clarifies. “It’s not exactly common but Earth docs deal with it just fine— _we_ dealt with it just fine.” He kicks his heels up onto the short table with an earnest smile. “Don’t worry, he's got all his shots. Made sure of that.”

Keith muffles a groan in his hands. “Please stop making furry jokes Takashi.”

“How did you even know she was running low anyway? My sisters always did but they shared a bathroom.” Lance kicks a leg out at Keith and raises an eyebrow, “you been raiding her supply?”

“Bite me.”

Pidge _actually_ kicks Lance. “We keep most of them in communal storage because we’re not savages.”

Hunk stretches and hooks his arms over the back of the couch, eyes on the ceiling. “You don’t seem to be using that many pads and stuff compared to Pidge though, pretty sure I would’ve noticed.” He looks back down with a lopsided grin, “I mean, I usually handle most of the shopping.”

“Menstrual cup,” says Keith in reply, popping the last part of the word.

“Pfft, typical Keith,” Lance snickers. “Straightforward, sustainable, and utilitarian.”

“I was living the the middle of a freaking desert, do you know how annoying it would’ve been to go into town that often?”

Lance just makes finger guns at him because…yeah, Keith basically proved his point.

Allura, on the other hand, just looks confused. “Well, why doesn’t Pidge use the same thing? We could cut down on supply runs—”

“Stop,” says Keith flatly. “If she wants to switch, she'll switch. Also that’s kinda none of your business.”

She jerks back, startled at the reprimand.

Keith sighs and looks away, his expression softening slightly. “Some people like to talk about it and some don’t but none of us have to justify to you what makes us the most comfortable.”

Allura glances at Pidge apologetically, who just shrugs, not actually that bothered.

“Anyway.” Hunk knocks his shoulder into Lance’s. “You’re taking this entire thing pretty well for someone who didn’t even realize that Pidge was a girl,” he points out.

Lance blushes and tucks in his chin a bit. “I thought she was trans,” he mumbles.

Pidge gives him a steady look. “That’s fucking adorable, Lance.”

“He’s had his hands down my pants,” Keith deadpans, “I’d be _pretty fucking pissed_ if he hadn't noticed.”

“Yeah, well, it also didn’t surprise me that you guys have even more things in common. You know, beyond being short, hyper-aggressive, loose cannons.” Lance smirks, “and arms.”

Pidge looks unrepentant as Hunk whispers reverently, “the fite squad.”

“I’m not an ar—!”

“Right-hand man,” Shiro cuts in, bluntly. Then ducks one of Keith’s knives with a fond chuckle.

“Oooooh, burn.” Pidge shoves her glasses up with a smug smile. “Oh man Keith, does that make you my brother in arms?”

Lance snorts and Keith reddens.

“Shut up, Pidgey,” he hisses.

“Ohmigod wait.” Hunk’s face lights up. “Wait, waitwait, can galra Keith purr??” Lance leans in, looking ecstatic.

Pidge’s grin is wide—and ominous. “TICKLE HIM!!!” she yells and throws herself over the table.

The other two paladins pile on as Keith lets out a small “meep!” before he succumbs to choppy laughs and rumbles.

Shiro just cracks up because he’s actually kind of a dick.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I totally cribbed the entire intersex thing from one or two really filthy sex fics I stumbled across so make of that what you will. the real inspiration for this tho came after I finished laughing myself sick at one of my friends who still synced up right after me even while she was she was on the other side of the country. it was adorable.
> 
> if I got anything egregiously wrong or especially upsetting with how the IUD works or anything else, just think to yourself: “this is a sci-fy future-ish thingy and I should just relax and have fun” and point it out to me anyway bc it’s good to know.
> 
> on that note though, the fandom should really stop calling intersex-like aliens hermaphrodites? because _our_ intersex community has issued a statement that basically boils down to “pls dont.” and that phrase has zerø context in space shit anyway.
> 
> also: yes, shiro is totally making the most his big brother privileges in this.


End file.
